Time for bed...

I wish that there were some eloquent way for me to put into words the things that I would like to say right now. All I can say is that I keep laying down and thinking that if my baby went in tomorrow and said that he didn't want to be in the Navy, it would not break my heart. I have asked questions like I wonder if Sadie will even really remember Andrew living in the house with her. Ben has cried, and then been very relieved to find the old Yugio cards. I keep trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I actually encouraged him to go into the Navy. I am really jealous of all of the other families that have the summer with their children after graduation. I wish that he was just going to college in the fall. I wish that I could go to bed tonight and know when my son might come home again, and if he ever will. I don't like the fact that I will not know where he is all of the time anymore. I know that the only important thing is that the Lord will know where he is, but it breaks my heart to know that I won't be able to just go to him if I want to. I also have to say that I am extremely proud of him. I am excited for him and all of the opportunities that he is going to have in the Navy. I am really jealous of the fact that he will be able to travel all over the world. I guess I will try to go to bed. I know that I get to see him as my baby just one more time tomorrow morning. A good night's sleep would do me good.